Tuesday, January 29, 2013

No One Reads This So Why NOT!!!


I've had a lot of thoughts running through my head the last few weeks. I have no real place to talk them out but I do have this blog no one reads. I will write down the craziness in my brain and send it off to the universe to solve.

I am worried about my surgery. I am worried I might die. I think this is from watching that stupid show My 600 LB Life. You know that show where ultra fat people like me go in and have baratric surgery and then a week after surgery and several hundred pounds lost they get cocky check out of rehab and then promptly go back to what got them ultra fat in the first place and then DIE!

Yes, I know that was a run on sentence but I don't care. I've been trying really hard to make sure that doesn't happen to me. I have meet with a nutritionist a few times and I need to get a trainer for a few sessions and then work work work. I don't think anything is gonna keep me from having droopy water bed belly though. I think I'm gonna need a tummy tuck when I am done. Yippee another chance of death.

What I haven't told my husband and may not have even mentioned it to my surgeon is during my last 2 knee surgeries my heart has stopped and I had to be revived. If I told C this he would have been totally unsupportive of the surgery. As it is he isn't happy about it but is being supportive as he can.

In case someone actually reads this, yes I will mention it to my Doctor as well an the hospital staff. I'm not dumb just fat.

I don't plan on dying but I have thought about what would happen to my family if I did.... Yes, I am nervous about that!

C would need help with the kids but I hope he stays here in our home and in the life we have made for ourselves. I do not want him to run home to Mommy. I want him to man up and raise the kids like we would have had nothing happened to me. I have talked to him about that and he has agreed.

I also think about how different my life will be after the surgery. I will need all new clothes, shoes, and even a new wedding band. I am worried about the staples coming undone. I am worried about my stomach leaking. I'm worried about the acid reflux not going away (the main reason for this surgery).

I'm not gonna lie I am going to miss Coke like crazy. I've decided to quite drinking it a week before surgery so that I can get over the caffeine withdrawal before someone takes out over 90% of my stomach. (I thought only 75% but nope over 90%).

I think this is enough ramblings for now. Maybe more later.

 

Monday, January 14, 2013

No nonsense A New Me Coming Soon

This is a Sponsored post written by me on behalf of No nonsense for SocialSpark. All opinions are 100% mine.

So what have I been up to lately? Well, on February 18th I am having Baratric Surgery. I'm embarassed to say this but at this momment I weigh almost 300 pounds. This surgery will make it so I can lose 150 pounds and it will take about 2 years. However, I should lose about 75 pounds the first 4 months. I have to admit I am scared out of my mind and I'm sure you wonder "What kind of person would do something this drastic?" Well I'll tell you a Wife, a Mother of 2, a Midwife, a Birth Doula. Someone with a lot to live for. I am going to lose the weight before something horrible happens. I have a sister that is overweight like me she developed diabetes and now is in a wheelchair. So I am taking control and I am working my butt literally off.

 

 

What keeps me going in the face of my fear is looking at the clothes I will be able to wear as the weight melts off. I have always loved the look of leggings! As you can imagine a 300 pound lady isn't very comfortable with the idea of leggings but that hasn't stopped me from looking and dreaming about them. The brand I love the most is No nonsense Tights and Leggings. They are so versitle and beautiful! Women just look so stylish and beautiful wearing them.

I will lose weight fast the first few months and I really don't want to go and spend a fortune on new clothes that won't fit in a month. That's one of the many things that make No nonsesne perfect for me. They are so affordable. You can find No Nonsense in most food and drug stores as well as most mass merchandise stores

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Right now my fashion style is "Hide the Fat Girl" but in just a few months it is going to be "Hip stylish, look at that skinny woman".

 

Check out my new Fashion self!

 

No Nonsense Self

 

 

 

 

 

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and on Twitter @benononsense

I can't weight! (Yeah I spelled it that way on purpose)!

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